Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize