Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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