So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
