my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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