If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
