YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
