it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
