Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
