Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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