dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
