I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize