jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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