I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
