pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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