I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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