no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
it's like heaven, but drunker
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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