Your tits are I can't wait for
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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