so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
the raccoons are back...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
