I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
