i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
