you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I deserve this hangover.
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