Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize