I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
