you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
