belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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