Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
operation harelip BJ is a go
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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