I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
