I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
