Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
