well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
