I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
