may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
