his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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