i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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