Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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