ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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