are you still at the devil's house?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
