I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
