I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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