haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
