goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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