I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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