Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
