I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
