If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize