i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
