went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
