It's Friday. Sex?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
