Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We left an ass print on the piano.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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