After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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