I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
