all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
