so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize