Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
