its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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