she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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