Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
