omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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