with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize