I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Randomize
