Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
