Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
