Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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