I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
