ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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