So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
