There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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