I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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