too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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