Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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