The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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