Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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