He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
