Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
